


Broken Pieces

by WritingTamale



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti)
Genre: Angst, Ben Hanscom & Richie Tozier Are Best Friends, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Established Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, F/M, Gay Richie Tozier, M/M, Minor Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Minor Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Richie Tozier is a Mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-12
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:21:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24683752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingTamale/pseuds/WritingTamale
Summary: Richie is dealing with the death of Eddie by living in the Hanscom household for a bit. Ben finally decides it's time to talk to him about moving on and getting better.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	Broken Pieces

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure if this could be more than a one shot, but if you want more pain I'm down. This is mainly a vent piece I'm sorry Eddie had to d*e.

“Should we check on him?” Ben asked leaning on the wall staring down the long hallway, the last door was the guest room where Richie was for the time being. 

The hallway was always normally just a normal one, the light from the many windows in the living room filling it with light. Though recently the hallway felt heavy, always seeming dark. It was almost like a heavy cloud followed Richie suffocating the area around them.

“I don’t know, part of me tells me we should but I also don’t want to over step his boundaries,” Beverly furrowed her brows as she also stared down to the room. The light shining from underneath the door was almost like a lie, it was bright but the mood wasn’t. “Ben – you go talk to him honey, I feel like you’d understand more than me and I think he really needs us right now.”

Ben sighed loudly, he wasn’t entirely sure how to tackle something like this. He saw Richie whenever he decided he wanted to eat or drink water and not alcohol, and he still joked. His smile was still there but it was different. The Richie Ben was used to seeing was over the top, not only because he was hiding who he really was but because that is who he was. This new Richie was painful, jokes were rare only coming out when he knew that Ben and Bev were worried. This new Richie drank way too much beer and ignored all of his manager’s phone calls. This new Richie was falling off the ledge of a cliff and the both of them, alongside the other losers, were trying to hold him back. 

“Okay…I’ll go talk to him,” Ben knew how much Richie felt for Eddie, he realized it was similar to how he felt for Beverly and he knew he would be in the same boat if he were to leave Bev. Sighing deeply he gave Bev a smile pressing a kiss to her head before walking over to the guest room and knocked softly. 

“Yes?” Richie’s raspy voice came from behind the door. 

“It’s me Ben – “

He was instantly cut off. “No shit, what do you want?”

Ben took a deep breath, this new Richie was more aggressive. “May I come in? I want to talk to you.”  
There was a long silence before he could hear Richie release a shaky breath. “Yeah sure, I promise I’m not naked nor is this place a mess,” the joke sounded forced. 

Ben opened the door and sure enough the room was eerily spotless, only a few cans of beers and a bottle of wine sat on the bedside table. Richie in his pajamas sat at the edge of the bed, twiddling his fingers mindlessly. As he stepped in the air of the room was way too intense, Ben knew for a fact that this man needed professional help and not just friendship help. Frowning he sat down beside Richie who remained completely silent. It wasn’t until Ben turned to look at him that he realized that silent tears fell down his cheeks. 

“Hey –“ Quickly he wrapped his arms around Richie and pulled him close. The sounds of Richie sobbing echoed in Ben’s brain, it brought him back to the quarry when they had finally killed Pennywise and left Eddie behind. “You’re okay, you’re okay we’re here for you okay?”

“I know Ben, you can say that five million times and that isn’t going to make things better – this isn’t going to bring him back,” Richie’s last words cut through Ben, the amount of pain in those words cause Ben to move back from Richie giving him space. 

“I understand, but you can’t just live in our guest room and drink your problems away man,” Ben tenderly put a hand on Richie’s only to have him pull back his own hand like if it was hot coal. “Look…I will never understand what this feels like or how you feel but please listen to me okay?” Ben kept staring at Richie, watching as he finally began to accept Ben’s help and finally after days of being here he seemed to open up just slightly. 

“Yeah you got the girl Ben, how the fuck are you supposed to help me?” Richie looked up at Ben, his eyes brimming with tears. 

“Because I love Bev, I know what it would feel like if we had switched places and Bev had died instead of Eddie,” Ben never had to have Richie come out to him, he just sort of always felt it and knew. The death of Eddie and Richie’s reaction gave it away as well. “I would want nothing more than to waste away, never go out or show my face to the world, I would want to just disappear so I would never have to deal with that loss again.”

Richie kept staring at Ben his face contorting as he tried to hold back his tears. “How am I supposed to do this shit,” he waved his hands around as if talking about life, “without him? I finally, finally found him again and then just like that lost him,” he looked back down at his hands. 

“The only thing I can really say and as corny as it sounds you know Eddie would want nothing more than to want you to continue living,” Ben put his hand on Richie’s shoulder squeezing it softly. “Well more like he’d probably want nothing more than want you to write your own jokes with no moms involved and to safely live your life, don’t go doing things that’ll give you I don’t know the superflu.”

Richie finally after a long time gave a genuine smile and a small laugh. “I…I don’t think people want to hear me tell jokes anymore though. I don’t think I can do that anymore.”

“Yeah you can Richie, and if it means joking about all of us then go for it,” Ben couldn’t help but smile. “I’m going to support you through and through as well as everyone else. Eddie is going to be screaming at you from heaven with Stanley while you pick yourself back up,” he knew how cheesy this all sounded, but he also knew there was only so much he could say to get Richie to become old Richie again. Before he lost Eddie.

“Yeah…maybe if I joke enough about them, they’ll magically appear,” Richie made a face and wiggled his fingers as if doing a magic trick. “Fuck Ben, fuck this just fuck everything,” he broke down again his face falling into his hands as his body heaved with sobs. Ben knew he must have been holding this in for so long, it had been weeks now since they got back and Richie was with them for only two of those weeks. But throughout those two weeks he never once heard him crying and if anything, he always came out for breakfast eyes sunken in like he hadn’t slept for days. Ben pulled him into a tight hug, he rubbed his back slightly as he let Richie cry into his shoulder, he wanted nothing more than to support his friend. 

“I love you Richie, you can get through this okay? You can work through this and it doesn’t mean you have to forget him or get over how you feel about him, it just means you get to live that you get to make his memory proud,” Ben whispered finding it hard to hold himself back from crying. 

“I don’t know Ben,” Richie whispered. “I don’t know if I can do this,” he clung tightly to his shirt. “I’m sorry that I’m ruining your nice $500 shirt,” Richie joked through his tears.

“You can do this Richie, you have all of us and I do know of a therapist that can help you in Chicago,” Ben gave him a kiss on the head. “Look, I don’t care about this shirt at all – it really doesn’t matter. You matter.”  
Richie couldn’t bring himself to say anything the guttural sounds of his sobs were the only thing able to escape his mouth. The tight grip he kept on Ben when he knew it was okay brought him comfort, he didn’t know he could get again. He couldn’t get the same comfort from the wine he chugged by himself at night no matter how many times he tried to convince himself. Richie had pushed everyone away these past few weeks when he quickly realized this was the thing, he was needing the most. It wasn’t from Eddie and he’d never know what it would feel like coming from Eddie, but it was love from a friend and that was enough.

After crying the what tears he had left he stayed clinging onto Ben, who accepted it openly. “You probably already know this but I’m gay and fuck I loved him so much Ben, I couldn’t even get to tell him that,” he pulled back so he could remove his glasses and wipe his eyes.

“I didn’t know you were gay, but I’m not surprised, I could tell how much you loved him,” Ben gave him a smile. “Congrats on coming out now.”

Richie laughed starting to think something over, Ben took a moment to see what he would say. “How am I supposed to love someone else?” his voice was small and broken, Ben really didn’t have the answer to that. He remained single till he was reunited with Beverly and he knew Richie didn’t have anyone else either. Taking a deep breath Ben really tried to think his answer through before responding.

“Richie in time when you’re ready you’ll find someone to love, it won’t be the same at all but you are worthy of love Rich, and I’m definitely sure Eddie would want you to find love too,” Ben smiled he knew that was something he probably shouldn’t have said but saw how tired Richie was, and if he could hold onto one thing it would be better than nothing.

“Poor man whoever it is, I won’t love him as much as I loved Eddie,” Richie tried to make a joke but it looked like it only made him sadder. “Ben I’m sorry that I’m currently living in your home, I just don’t think I could handle being alone for any longer,” he gave Ben a small smile, this made Ben hopeful because it’s been a while since he has gotten anything. 

“Don’t sweat it, you are honestly the best house guest and I would rather make sure you’re safe then just leave you to your own devices,” Ben smacked his back and then placed his hands neatly in his lap. “But I do want you to promise me that you’ll at least write new material here and get back on your feet soon enough okay? We will be here for you; I can’t take care of you forever Tozier."

“Yeah, yeah I’ll write things down in my little notebook you guys gave me, I’ll be okay Ben I promise,” Richie wiped at his eyes and for a brief moment Ben thought he saw the same 13-year-old boy who protected him through everything. He saw Richie finally become vulnerable. Ben pulled him into another hug which startled Richie at first, but then hugged him back just as tightly. 

“Hey, I’ll even help with the dating apps,” Ben joked hoping it would make Richie laugh. It did and it caused Ben to smile brightly.

“Too soon Haystack,” Richie put his glasses back on and sighed deeply. “Okay Ben, get out of my room I have to wank a sad one now because you made me cry so much,” he joked the smile still on his face.  
Ben knew that as soon as he left his room things would get better. Things would be better. He didn’t think it was him at all, but he thought it was Richie finally realizing he needed to get better. 

“Bye we'll be in the living room if you need anything okay?” he watched as Richie nodded before leaving and closing the door behind him. 

Once he plopped on the couch next to Beverly their phones dinged. Both of them looked down at their phones to see a Twitter notification from Richie. Eyebrows raised they both opened their phones to check.

‘Hey it’s me Trashmouth, sorry it’s been a while. Had to fight a homophobic alien clown who killed the love of my life. More about that soon coming soon at a venue near you. I’m calling this one – Out Of The Closet.’ 

This Richie was finally becoming old Richie.


End file.
